I'm done feeding ferals. I've been cutting down on the amount of food I set out and the regularity with which I do it, and today I didn't set out food or water at all. Took the last remaining shelter cover down and brought the bowls in. Ignored Leo when he came meowing at me for food and/or water and/or attention. I guess I'm done TNR'ing, too, although I'll keep my borrowed traps for a while just in case.
Why quit feeding? I'm tired. Tired of the constant mess, the cat fights, cats spraying all around the back porch (and the stench in summertime, OMG), fighting slugs, roaches, & ants, occasional cat poop inside the food shelters (who the hell shits where they eat???), and Leo screeching at me every time I put a foot out the door....I'm just tired of it. The low Z levels in my head might have something to do with it (that's temporary--a new, larger prescription is en route, hallelujah), but anyway, I'm done. I've fed ferals for five or six years now and I guess that's the limit of my do-goodness. Besides, I saw Leo quite far afield yesterday and I'm sure, now, that he goes other places where people set out food and water for feral kitties.
Like I said, I suck. But I'm still done.
All the ferals have disappeared, including Leo. It doesn't take long when the weather's yucky-hot and there's no big water bowl set out for them.
I hope Leo finds someone else he trusts enough to get headrubs from. But it would be quite amazing if he ever trusted another human again.